Mozambique Vacay

Maybe-not-so-brief synopsis of Lesotho 2007 Permaculture crew’s vacation to Mozambique:

July 16: Maseru Bridge Border crossing Detainment! Thank goodness for Ted, Rich and Lereko. Pam is, wait WAS, an illegal foreigner in South Africa. R1500 charge. Rich was TOO NICE and drove us to Bloem. Drove (well i RODE) all the way to Nelspruit, amid all the construction stops on the back way, when Casey freaked out KJ with children of the corn scares every time. OH and by the way, ROCKS are equivalent to orange construction cones in Africa. Just BTW. 2 twin beds in a small room with an open shower + 6'0 girl with 5'1" girl spooning in same bed + hotel man calling at 1am (me being unable to produce a LIE) and saying he'd "carry this burden" = very laughable situation!

July 17: From Nelspruit, we drove to the Mozambique border. On the way, Pam spotted a giraffe, so we got out and took pictures for FREE!!! We met Jose, who helped us across the border, although when he used the word 'baby', we were highly skeptical. We got to Maputo after a few wrong turns, found NO working Standard Banks and then made our way on the long drive to Tofo. Viv (the name of our rental car) found a great parking spot deep in the sand just inside the back entrance at Fatima's Nest (which by the way was the only reservation we actually kept -- well 75% -- the entire trip) in the middle of the camping area. She stayed there for the night. After that, we had dinner and much-needed wine.

July 18: Tofo Beach, swimming in the Indian Ocean, walked into town to check out the food and craft market, Dinner at Fatima's, wine by Fire, no s'mores =( So, what exactly is the difference between "now now", "right now" and "now"?

July 19: Tofo Walked to Tofinho (break point) beach early in morning. Saw weird blue sea creature washed up on shore with transparent wing/fin -- some kind of jellyfish?; Amazed by the blowholes on the reef. Had 5 guard dogs on beach all day long. "Chunky TrampStamp" We saw a Ring of Fire and then Pam, KJ and I tried to push Viv up the main entrance (deep sand) to Turtle Cove along with small children and a woman with baby on back, but no cigar! We had to find the back way. Dinner - the OH SO GOOD King Mackerel! Within 5 minutes, we all started wondering how we could switch backpacker places that VERY NIGHT!! (And of course we could have made that happen because as American we are * EFFICIENT!) These are all the things that wooed us: Party Size Family Room, Mint Chocolate Dessert, Pancakes as dessert, little (maybe deaf) weiner dog and old dog on dog bed, hammocks and chill feel to the place. Later: Missing Tooth Construction Guy who was adamant that "Darby" ? is a U.S. state and his big WhiSTLE WHISTLE drunk old man friend that fell off the bench and then kept calling me Santa Maria. (?) Can't forget the piece of door lock on our little bungalow that ended up causing me and KJ to head butt just once.

July 20: Tofo Relocated to the Family Room in Turtle Cove; Drove to Inhambane town for Chelete (money in Sesotho) there are pin numbers for VISA cards???!!! Real coffee at the Surf Rental place; the four of us plus KJ's surfboard inside Viv (VW CitiGolf) = interesting sight; Chilled on beach; Yellowy toxic-looking foam at high tide, but I wasn't too alarmed because I've been exposed to brown toxicity my whole life on Sagnasty River; yummy pasta dinner with wine; WE NEEDED marshmallows but could find them NOWHERE!!

July 21: Tofo OBRIGADA = female Thank you in Portuguese by the way. Long walk (9 miles?) to a really cheap lighthouse in Barra. Yummy schwarmas for lunch at Dino's. Quick swim/bath(?) at high tide; Bartered for custom-made wooden fish at craft market; Barracuda kabobs + Drostdy-Hof wine == Mmmmmmmmm

July 22: TofoàVilankulo Driving/Riding + potholes galore + 2 flat tires + speeding ticket (flats & ticket happened in same sixty minutes) + man named Usted taking us to town to fix tires (tube and patch) to not get ripped off; Bought Much needed man cans of Beer in Bulk; Dolphin Dhow; Bedbugs?; Euchre; Lecture from Junior to Casey about NO FLUSH T.P.!

July 23: Vilankulo Snorkel trip to Magaruque Island in the Bazaruto Archipelago with three South African men, MeTu and other Mozambiquan. (Bartrem, MeTu is jailbait!) Wonderful lunch of grilled Barracuda, crabs, fresh fruit, salad. Saw a mini octopus(?), eel, pretty angelfish; Started out battling the current, then completely calm on Round #2. One Really low HAHAHA laugh started us all on a laughing spiff, which caused Pam to choke on snorkel and saltwater and just the sight of me smiling in my mask (pushing my cheeks and lips funny) caused Casey to nonstop laugh and almost choke!!! Checked out seine-fishing and put up sail and shut off engine on way home; had braai dinner with RSA men. Malawi snake eyes talk.

July 24: VilankuloàTofo Long, bumpy drive, but Viv handled better (Pam drove). Wheel started to shake A LOT after 90 kmh though. ?? Crossed the Tropic of Capricorn. Took dirt road shortcut. Nick let us Move into three person room at TC for VERY CHEAP RATE. Two lunches = Dino’s + bunny chow + donut + samoas. Manica ManCans and being buttholes playing Euchre. Good reminiscing with Bartrem. HAHA

July 25: Tofo Last day in Tofo. Watched blowholes, surfers, dolphins, KJ fall in hole in reef; Nick apology (ManCans); Last delectable dinner at TurtleCove; dancing at Bamboozi after live Spanish singer music (Turtle Cove took over!); Accidentally encouraged boy to talk to me while making faces at Casey when she was being hit on by ganja/dread man; Pierre doesn’t discriminate, except with women’s smells; Pam forgot to put in gear, so pushing car with other helpers completely unnecessary!; hitching in back of truck because dogs had front seats for ride home – barely avoided tree trunk collisions; Tipo Tinto too much??!!

July 26: TofoàMaputo First thing in morning: Almost ran over Pam’s foot & broke car door off, Casey oblivious to it all!!; my puking on side of road; all four of us peeing on roadside; waiting 2 hours to check in at Maputo backpackers; Ugly Fatima dogs; Floating buttcrack & BobMarley paintings while eating fresh Stonefish dinner!!; Hot Mosa man; Paying 100 Mtc to fake? cop for doing illegal U-turn; showering under strobe lights in flooded WaterCloset; Viv’s endless car alarm sounds.

July 27: MaputoàNelspruitàJoburg Being blocked in front of driveway for one hour, waking everyone up at 6am, hating orange Kia owners, moving under Chach’s bad English/Portuguese macho directions; “We are all strong. We just pick up the car and move it over. Maximum!” Took five minutes to do Entire Border crossing (May have failed to notice the MoAgric sign though); Flat tire #3; Pam & Casey should be employed by Nascar and have overalls and earmuffs they move so fast! Got lost with all the “robot” directions. Blinker stopped bwinking. Rental Car #2 (Sylvester) at airport from really nice agency lady. Made American “efficient” timing while shopping at Nelspruit mall. Took scenic route (near “Vaterfall”) because horrific accident. Got lost outside Joburg looking for Gladiator street near ABSA?? Wonderful dorms, but OH SO COLD compared to Moz!! Casey did amazing driving IN Joburg because of backpacker owner’s amazing highway directions; Smog near Soweto! McDonald’s lunch and breaking car key before returning Sylvester and being undercharged?; One Hitch all the way to Lesotho border – all four of us got picked up within 20 minutes!

I must have gotten half of a dozen concussions throughout the whole trip – I hit my head on things THAT much!! Coming soon: “12 days of Moz” song


……And we’re all still laughing about everything...and like each other!! HA I love Peace Corps!!!

<3>